Sometimes I feel that I need to start writing a journal just for the crazy things my children say, either to me, Steve, each other, or (sometimes) unsuspecting innocent bystanders. Because my kids (like all kids, I'm sure) don't hold back, and when you give them a topic as potentially embarrassing as pregnancy, the experiences just get more....interesting.
With me being pregnant this time, my children have been incredibly curious about my growing stomach. This means that we've had a lot of conversations about how pregnancy happens, what the baby is doing, how big the baby is, and how the baby comes out. As the kids ask questions, I'm doing my best to try to answer the questions they ask me in a matter-of-fact way, with as much of the proper information as I feel is appropriate for a 6, 4, and 3-year-old, and for the most part, I think it's going well (better, that is, than my first experience having The Conversation with a 4-year-old...) We also showed them a fantastic documentary--In the Womb, by National Geographic, which shows the baby developing from conception through birth, but isn't too graphic (Obviously this is all from my point of view, which could differ IMMENSELY from what someone else deems appropriate for children).
Despite my matter-of-fact approach, however, we've still run into a few blush-worthy situations.
20 weeks along--Who knew a pregnant belly would cause so many faux pas? (Also, I'm fully aware that my face is in shadow, but when I did my hair that morning, the right side of my hair curled perfectly, while the left side of my hair decided it wanted nothing to do with curling. You understand, right?)
With my kids constantly commenting on my "big tummy," I've learned to let the comments roll off my back for the most part--but one thing I hadn't counted on was the fact that my children would now assume that any grown woman would be comfortable with them commenting on her size the way I am, and we've had a LOT of awkward moments resulting.
The first was only a couple of weeks after we'd announced the pregnancy to the kids...a friend of mine came over, and as we were talking, Jack came up to us, gently and reverently stood between us, and started patting both of our bellies at the same time.
"This is so special!" he smiled sweetly. "You both have babies in your tummies!"
Unfortunately, my friend wasn't pregnant. Quite fortunately, however, she has a magnificent sense of humor, as well as a great understanding of how to deal with 6-year-olds, and so the crisis was averted.
Phew!
Last night, for our Family Home Evening lesson, I decided to talk about our bodies--what's appropriate for us to do with them, what blessings they are, and how we can protect and take care of them, and to open up the lesson, I asked each child what they loved about our bodies, starting with Clark.
"Clark, what part of your body are you grateful for?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Hmmm....My privates!"
I could tell immediately that he was being completely serious, and so I quickly stifled the hysterical giggles that were threatening to surface, studiously avoided looking at Steve, who I know was dying with laughter, and asked, "So, why do you like your privates?"
"Because you told us they're very special!" He responded, beaming at what a good answer he'd come up with.
It's true....I have told them numerous times (as I've been snapping at them to get their hands out of their pants--what IS it with little boys needing to play with themselves?) that those particular parts of our bodies are special....so I regrouped, and tried to make it part of the lesson--I went on to talk about how we can protect those special parts of our bodies and what they should do if someone did or showed them something they were uncomfortable with (come tell Steve or I), and then we talked about some of the fun things our bodies could do.
By this point, Maggie was dancing around the front room, off in her own world, and Jack had apparently decided that he'd rather sit upside down on the couch rather than on his bottom, like a human being. To break it up, we played a sort of Simon Says game for a bit, and then I went around the room and asked what we were grateful our bodies could do.
Jack was grateful that his heart gave him blood, Maggie was grateful she could dance, Steve was grateful he could sleep, and I said I was grateful I could have a healthy baby in my belly--and then it was Clark's turn.
"I'm grateful that when I grow up, I can make sperm!!"
Steve snorted, and I once again struggled keeping a straight face while I reiterated that, yes, some day, he would be able to make sperm.
I'm pretty sure that this point was when I decided to call it good and finished the lesson entirely. It's hard to feel the Spirit when you're not sure whether to laugh or blush or both.
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