How to Fix a Leaky Kitchen Faucet in 20 Easy Steps

This is my personal experience in how to fix a kitchen faucet, listed in 20 easy steps.

Before beginning this project (at least in my own personal fashion), you will need the following:

An empty kitchen sink, 2 preschool-aged helpers (See Fig. A and Fig. B to see the helpers I personally selected):

Fig. A:

Fig B.

I obviously picked the most competent helpers out there.  Don't be jealous.

Last thing you'll need (besides the necessary tools, of course) is desperation--enough to be willing to take apart a kitchen faucet when you have no idea what the heck you're doing.  

So, without further ado, here are the 20 steps for how to fix a kitchen faucet--Jewel style!!

Step 1: Get an enormous water bill and totally flip out over the fact that one little leaky kitchen faucet can cost you so much freakin’ money.

Step 2: Subtly (and not-so-subtly) whine to your overworked and never-home husband about the irritation that leaky faucet is giving you in hopes that he will somehow magically: A. Create (or freeze —either works) time in between his classes and work to take apart an entire kitchen faucet or B: Gain a plumber’s degree in that time so it won’t be as scary for him as it is for you.

Step 3: Realize that even though you have zero to no plumbing experience (does turning a faucet on and off count?  No?), you’re sick and tired of this leaky faucet, and you have an open hour this morning in which you can try to fix it yourself.

Step 4: Google the term “DIY How to fix a leaky faucet,” then start watching the first Youtube video that comes up, following the instructions even though they’re based on a bathroom faucet rather than a kitchen faucet, thinking, “How different can they be?”

Step 5: After following the helpful hints of putting the plug in the sink (in case loose parts fall down the drain) and putting tape on your wrench so it won’t scratch up the faucet, realize that yes, in fact, bathroom faucets are completely different than kitchen ones, and Google instead the term: “DIY How to fix a leaky kitchen faucet.”

Step 6: Turn off both valves under the sink—yes, there are two.  Basically turn them and turn the faucet on to figure out when they’re off.  They’re off when the faucet won’t run water.

Step 7: Sharply get after your “helpers” for the eleventy-billionth time for picking up the tools you explicitly told them NOT to touch.

Step 8: Reassure your helpers that you love them and aren’t mad at them when they start to cry.

Step 9: Start watching the video.  Realize that you’ve grabbed almost all the wrong tools, and run out to the garage to grab the right ones.

Step 10: Skip the video back to rewatch how to take a kitchen faucet handle off. 

Step 11: Take the kitchen handle off using an alan wrench.  Proceed to freak out over the fact that YOU ARE TAKING APART THE KITCHEN FAUCET AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HECK YOU ARE DOING.

Step 12: Watch the fuzzy video more closely as the guy takes apart other pieces of the kitchen faucet, then proceed to continue to freak out as YOU TAKE APART OTHER PIECES OF THE KITCHEN FAUCET. 

Step 13: Freak out even more and decide to just put the whole thing back together because you REALLY can’t afford to get a new faucet if you break this one.

Step 14: Try not to curse under your breath as you realize you’ve put it back together wrong.

Step 15: Take it apart and put it back together again, realizing that when the guy was talking about a “groove,” he was talking about this groove, not the other one.

Step 16: Freak out at your helpers for once again touching the tools and dropping a really important little screw on the ground, frantically search the entire kitchen floor for said miniscule screw, then proceed to apologize as they both get teary-eyed and sad.

Step 17: Hug your helpers until they feel better.

Step 18: Put the handle back on the faucet, then turn the valves back on, then stand back in shock to realize--it’s not leaking anymore!!!!!

Step 19: Do a happy dance and realize that you just singlehandedly FIXED your kitchen faucet—with help from your 2 and 4-year-old children and a random Youtube video. 

Step 20: Proceed to feel completely invincible.