My Diaper Bag's Contents

Sometimes, I affectionately refer to my diaper bag as the "Black Hole From Which Nothing Ever Returns."

Does anyone else have this problem?  I'll pack it for church or some other activity in which I believe I will need entertainment materials for the kiddos, but upon finishing said activity, rather than unpack it, I just leave everything in there, and then pack more stuff on top of it for the next activity.  That has been my basic strategy since owning a diaper bag.

Tonight, I was cleaning it out for our trip tomorrow (by the way, yeah, I'm running a marathon in two days--whaaat?!), and I thought it was so funny to put all of the contents out on the table and count certain items that I figured I might as well take a picture and write about it so you can all be amazed by my organization skills--or lack thereof.

Here, in no particular order, are a few of the items removed from said diaper bag (this is by no means an exhaustive list):
2 goldfish crackers
3 empty ziploc bags
16 partially chewed graham cracker squares
5 crayons--2 whole, 3 broken
1 baby brush
5 mini coloring books--all completely colored in
2 wipes (yes, only 2)
5 used and dried up napkins
3 children's books
1 nearly empty tube of Desitin
1 copy of our Ward's mission plan
1 church program--dated in July
1 half-empty bag of month-old pretzels
3 shot records for my children
3/4 inch (approximately) worth of crumbs covering the bottom
and...
1 spoon (not clean).
Yeah, so you want to know the ironic thing that was not in my diaper bag?
Diapers.
I think it's time to rethink my strategy.