Just to warn y'all (you know, the three of you who still read this blog), I'm about to have a SERIOUS pity party for myself, so bust out the rocky-road ice cream and come join me.
I am absolutely dreading next week--dreading it to the point of anxiety that keeps me up at night and gnaws uncomfortable feelings in my stomach. Why, you ask?
Next week, Real Life starts.
By Real Life, of course, I mean that next week, my husband starts his crazy work/nursing school/play rehearsal schedule--one that means that he will literally leave at 8:00 in the morning (except when he has to be at clinicals by 5:30) and not be home until after 10:00 at night for several days of the week....which is when he will need to study, of course.
Next week is also when I begin teaching piano lessons. I have 20 students this year, which is at least 6 more students than I have ever attempted to teach at one time in my life, and because all of my students are also students in our local school system, the only time I am able to teach them is from 2:30 till 6:30 Mondays through Thursdays--aka, "The Witching Hours" for anyone who has young children (please, please tell me that I'm not the only person whose children turn into absolute monsters at or around these times. If your children are well-behaved and kind and sweet during this time, I just don't want to hear it. I'm looking for sympathy here, people!).
Next week is also when I am scheduled to run EIGHTEEN miles for my long run--after which, I get a break where I only have to run 14 miles, which is no biggie (ahem, ahem--yeah, right). Week after? 22 miles. Twenty-two freakin' miles. That I'm running. You know, with my feet and legs and stuff. These numbers don't even count my shorter weekday runs, which I will have to get in before Steve leaves in the morning.
I'm not even going to mention (okay, I guess I am, but not in detail) my calling, Jack's Joy School arrangements, nor the day-to-day stresses that come with mothering three very young, very active children and trying to keep up with the house/yard/garden....
Argh.
I know, I know, I know that all of this stuff is self-imposed stress, it's all worth it, it's no big deal, the blessings are great and outnumber the stresses I have to face, yadda, yadda, yadda, but I'm having a bad attitude, so I might as well enjoy my Bad Attitude Moment thoroughly.
Meanwhile, enjoy some randomness from a fun night we had at NanaDee's recently:
Life really is good.
Steve is going to be gone a lot, but because my husband is working so hard and involved in the play that will be taking up so much of his time (and because of the extra income I'm bringing in with so many piano lessons), we have not only been able to get him through school thus far without incurring further debt, but we also JUST paid off our second car last week, so, except for the house, we are debt-free! *knocks on wood*
The hours of Steve being gone and the stress of teaching piano lessons pales in comparison to that incredible freedom--we own both our vehicles outright and have no further burden of consumer OR student OR medical debt at the moment--TOTALLY worth it.
I am getting right into the hardest part of training, which is stressful, hard, and exhausting at times, but I AM TRAINING FOR A MARATHON. This is something I have wanted to do for at least the past 15 years, and despite the excuses and many valid reasons I have for not doing it, I AM DOING IT ANYWAYS. I have a healthy body, I have never felt so strong and accomplished, and I am going to check off the single biggest item on my 30-before 30 list within the next 7 weeks! SOSOSOSO worth it.
Our kids our healthy and strong, and even though they're not always well-behaved, they are good-hearted, happy children, and I'm lucky to be a mom. Worth it.
Okay. I guess I can face what's about to come now that I've had my venting moment.
Thanks for letting me cry on your virtual shoulder--you're such a good listener!
Comments
You are both working toward amazing goals, you have already accomplished a lot and all of these things are so worth the work you are doing for them (imagine what it will feel like once you have finished your marathon and Steve is a nurse!) - but just because there are great blessings in store for you doesn't meant that you can't spend some time feeling anxiety and stress and needing to let off some of that steam!
I have a small example (ok, this is getting really long...sorry): when I was pregnant, you know that I was so, SO happy about it since we had been trying for so long. I tried not to complain about the aches and pains and sickness and other unpleasant things that come with pregnancy because I was just so grateful for the experience! But there were a few times when, in the privacy of our bedroom, I cried to Jon about how hard it was. I don't like throwing up and not being able to sleep because there isn't a comfortable position for my extra swollen body. I knew in my head that this was something I had been waiting for and dreaming of - but that doesn't mean that it didn't get hard.
We all have to vent a little, and I am always on the other end of the phone if you need to chat!
Loves!
P.S. Sorry for the super long post!!!!
;) I am only being slightly sarcastic. :)