I spent most of today feeling like a failure.
I woke up to a sink full of dishes, a visibly disgusting floor, a bathroom that smells like pee (when will Jack learn to aim?!?!), and a boys' room floor covered in clothes that I had neatly folded and put away the night before--and that Clark had gleefully unfolded and strewn around the floor before breakfast this morning.
The worst part of all of this is that I had spent all DAY on Monday scrubbing said bathroom, mopping and vacuuming said floor, and cleaning said kitchen...not to mention washing and drying said laundry. And this morning, it looked as though I hadn't touched a thing. Like, ever.
Not the greatest start to the day, is it? I don't know why, but when I have to wake up to a messy house (especially when I wasn't here to make the mess--I had been at a Relief Society meeting during dinnertime last night), it feels like I'm already starting the day two steps behind.
So, after spending the morning yelling at my kids, resenting the fact that I didn't get to scarf down my cold cereal until after it was already soggy soup, angrily cramming the DANG clothes back into the DANG dresser drawers, and chasing our chickens back into their coop (yet again--stupid wind blew the coop apart, so the chickens have the run of our derelict yard), I gave in and fed everyone lunch at 11:00 (even though lunchtime isn't until at least noon--usually later), and then put them all down for early naps.
I was tempted to grab the pan of leftover cinnamon rolls and plop down in front of facebook or a TV show for the brief amount of quiet time I knew I had, but I remembered my goal to read the triple combination through and realized that I hadn't yet read my scriptures for the day (although I'd tried--three different times--only to be interrupted by something life-threatening each time). So I pulled out my Doctrine and Covenants and started reading--trying, as I did, to change my perspective and allow the Spirit to teach me what I needed to know.
And, as it does every time I slow down and genuinely try to change my attitude, the Spirit spoke to me, helped to change my perspective and my heart, and allowed me to see past the resentment about all of the parts of my life that aren't perfect, and instead see the many blessings I have to be grateful for.
I finished my study time, did the dishes, wiped down the counters, and decided that the rest of the mess could wait. I taught my piano lessons, and then spent the rest of the afternoon just playing with my kids. We read, we wrestled, we sang, and then we played some more.
Were things suddenly perfect after I made my decision to be more positive?
I wish--the boys spent approximately 73% of the afternoon either fighting, begging to watch TV, or pulling at my hair, Maggie was still clingy and fussy, and the house? Still totally embarrassing.
But--I feel satisfied with today's work. What I did today was more important than having a sanitary bathroom or a clean floor.
Just remind me of that when I wake up to my messy house again tomorrow.
I woke up to a sink full of dishes, a visibly disgusting floor, a bathroom that smells like pee (when will Jack learn to aim?!?!), and a boys' room floor covered in clothes that I had neatly folded and put away the night before--and that Clark had gleefully unfolded and strewn around the floor before breakfast this morning.
The worst part of all of this is that I had spent all DAY on Monday scrubbing said bathroom, mopping and vacuuming said floor, and cleaning said kitchen...not to mention washing and drying said laundry. And this morning, it looked as though I hadn't touched a thing. Like, ever.
Not the greatest start to the day, is it? I don't know why, but when I have to wake up to a messy house (especially when I wasn't here to make the mess--I had been at a Relief Society meeting during dinnertime last night), it feels like I'm already starting the day two steps behind.
So, after spending the morning yelling at my kids, resenting the fact that I didn't get to scarf down my cold cereal until after it was already soggy soup, angrily cramming the DANG clothes back into the DANG dresser drawers, and chasing our chickens back into their coop (yet again--stupid wind blew the coop apart, so the chickens have the run of our derelict yard), I gave in and fed everyone lunch at 11:00 (even though lunchtime isn't until at least noon--usually later), and then put them all down for early naps.
I was tempted to grab the pan of leftover cinnamon rolls and plop down in front of facebook or a TV show for the brief amount of quiet time I knew I had, but I remembered my goal to read the triple combination through and realized that I hadn't yet read my scriptures for the day (although I'd tried--three different times--only to be interrupted by something life-threatening each time). So I pulled out my Doctrine and Covenants and started reading--trying, as I did, to change my perspective and allow the Spirit to teach me what I needed to know.
And, as it does every time I slow down and genuinely try to change my attitude, the Spirit spoke to me, helped to change my perspective and my heart, and allowed me to see past the resentment about all of the parts of my life that aren't perfect, and instead see the many blessings I have to be grateful for.
I finished my study time, did the dishes, wiped down the counters, and decided that the rest of the mess could wait. I taught my piano lessons, and then spent the rest of the afternoon just playing with my kids. We read, we wrestled, we sang, and then we played some more.
I wish--the boys spent approximately 73% of the afternoon either fighting, begging to watch TV, or pulling at my hair, Maggie was still clingy and fussy, and the house? Still totally embarrassing.
Just remind me of that when I wake up to my messy house again tomorrow.
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