Why I Never Go ANYWHERE

Today, I decided to go grocery shopping at 10:30 this morning. It was about 11:15 when I left. Why? Here's why: I put Jack's shoes on, then went to change Clark before I put him in the carseat. I turned around to find that Jack had taken his shoes off, so I laugh a little, pick him up, put his shoes back on, then go take Clark off the floor to put him in the carseat. I then realize that Buster is still in the house, which is NOT a good thing to happen when we're gone (remind me sometime to tell you about the 4 sets of blinds that stupid dog has ruined, trying to get out through the windows), so, holding Clark, I go let Buster out, only to come back into the front room to see Jack with his shoes off YET again (why is that kid so obsessed with shoes?), so I sigh, put Clark down in his bouncer (I don't like to have him in the car seat for too long before we actually get in the car, because then he gets fussy and can't be consoled), put the shoes back on the feet, then go get Clark and put him in the carseat, only to hear Jack opening the back door and letting Buster in, right before dumping all of the dog food and water out on the floor. Argh! I shove poor Buster (who is now wondering what he did wrong) out the door, decide the dog food can STAY on the floor, for ALL I CARE, grab Jack by the hand, pick Clark's carseat up by the other (I'm getting amazing biceps, by the way), and take them both to the garage, where I strap them in their carseats, then I go back in to grab my wallet and diaper bag. Who cares if everything I have is in there? I just want to get OUT. Yep. That's why I never go anywhere. It's just not worth the stress. I wonder--can you order groceries online, and if so--how much extra do you think it would cost? *Edited to say: I tried typing this up in several different paragraphs so it would be easier to read, but Blogger is being dumb and is just making it into one ramblingly long paragraph. Sorry it's not as asthetically pleasing. Maybe I'll be able to fix it later.

Comments

Heather said…
I think I'm going to have to stop reading your blog until after my chilluns are here. You are a superhero! Just kidding (mostly).

But you actually CAN order groceries online in cities from regular stores, and here we have a place called Winder that is more expensive. I doubt there are too many options available for that in Snowflake, though. :(

(Oh, and I was kidding about the reading your blog thing - not about you being a superhero. You are MOST DEFINITELY a superhero.)
Alicia said…
I wouldn't separate this post into paragraphs even if blogger WOULD let you! I love how it all runs together, and it reminds me so much of what my life was like when my kiddos were the same age as your kiddos. I had so many days like that! You're a champ! And you're handling it much better than I ever did! Kudos to leaving the dog food, by the way. Ku.Dos.
Kelly said…
Right, you'll fix it right after changing diapers, cleaning you dog food, locating and putting on shoes, and the other 1 million things moms do the 45 minutes it takes us to leave the house late.

I suddenly consider myself lucky, though. My kids only try to put more shoes on over the shoes they are already wearing.
Shauni said…
I still haven't managed to go grocery shopping alone since Maddie was born...but seeing as the hubby is starting med school soon, I'll have no choice!

Remind me never to get a dog.
Stephanie said…
This was hilarious. I'm definitely starting to learn about the difficulties of getting out the door with a baby. It seems like that's always Siri's favorite time to poop/be hungry/spit up/etc.