These two children:
These two sweet children: 
These two sweet, adorable children: 
These two sweet, adorable, innocent children: 
These two sweet, adorable, innocent, wonderful children: 
made church a NIGHTMARE for me yesterday.We were running late yesterday morning (when aren't we running late, I'd like to know), and we ended up showing up to church nearly ten minutes late. As we bustled in to the chapel, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible while sliding into the empty bench near the back, I caught a whiff of something.
"Steve? Will you check Jack? I think he's poopy."
He leaned over, checked, and sure enough, the kid was messy. "I'll change him right after Sacrament is passed."
"Okay--thanks."
A couple of moments later, as I was trying to be reverent and think of, you know, spiritual stuff, Clark made a familiar face and an even more familiar noise. "Shoot. Please, please, please let that have all stayed inside his diaper..." I prayed silently as I let him finish his business, then lifted the sweater vest to see...the trademark stripe. You all know the one. The one that lets you know that you should have invested the 10 bucks more for the expensive diapers.
I silently leaned over to Steve and showed him. "Which one do you want to take?" I whispered.
"I don't care," he replied sotto voce (we were still trying to show respect for everyone around us who was trying to feel the Spirit despite our noisy, smelly children).
"I'll take Jack--you take Clark?" I whispered back.
"Sounds good."
I then tried digging surruptitiously in the bag for diapers and wipes--found the diapers right off the bat, but...where were the wipes? I dug lower and lower in the black hole I call my diaper bag, only to realize with a gasp--"Steve, I can't find the wipes. Maybe you...?"
He dug, but the effort was fruitless. There were no wipes in the bag.
Sigh.
"We'll just have to use paper towels, then, huh?"
Steve nodded resignedly.
So, as soon as Sacrament had been passed, we both stood up in as dignified a manner as possible, clutching our diapers and our children, and went our ways--me to the women's room, which luckily has a changing table, and Steve to the Primary room, which was, blessedly, empty.
Another ten minutes later, we slid back into our bench to listen to the beautiful testimonies that were being shared and to try to salvage what was left of our Sacrament Meeting experience.
Times like these make me grateful that we attend a family-friendly church. That's for sure.
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