I know it's late, and my body really wants to be asleep, but my brain won't shut off.
Have you ever had one of those days where it's really not a bad day per se, but because of bad news that you hear--even if it doesn't affect you directly, just your friends or family (or both), you just feel....burdened?
That's how my day was. And it wasn't even all that bad till tonight, when Steve got home and told me about these things--some of the stuff, I already knew, but then when I found out about these other things that were going on, it just weighed me down a little bit more.
So here I am, attempting to do a little therapy, get a little bit of it out of my head, and maybe get to the point where my brain will let me sleep. Which is what I really want to do right now, believe it or not.
Sorry I'm being so vague and fuzzy...for one thing, it's late, so I'm not communicating clearly, and for another, most of the stuff that's going on, I can't give details about, but here are just a couple of the things going on:
I just found out that one of my friends and her husband are, in fact, getting a divorce.
Some family members of mine are really struggling financially.
Steve has been having excess stress at work that could possibly be exacerbated quite soon.
Oh, yeah--and last night, I backed our car (our recently paid-off car, I might add) into my aunt's minivan. What am I, a dumb teenager? I couldn't believe it happened--we were at my parent's house, it was dark, they were parked behind me, I was late for a meeting, I thought I checked the rear view mirror...yadda yadda yadda. I have NEVER done something like this before, and I usually could laugh something like this off, but the timing...oh, the timing. Sigh.
Luckily, Steve was right there, so he went in and told my uncle, who came out and looked at the damage (so I didn't even have to be the one to tell the two most intimidating people involved, which was nice). My uncle was great about it, and this morning, my aunt called to make sure I was okay (true story, I bawled all the way to my meeting, and probably would have cried longer had it been an option), and they've been wonderful about the whole thing...not the least bit mad--but REALLY? How the heck could I be so careless? I'm still kicking myself for making such a stupid mistake. Granted, it's not a huge deal--just a little dent in our fender and a dent/scratch across the side of their minivan, but still, on top of everything else...Ugh.
Like I said, it's been one of those days.
But I know that even "Those Days" have a reason, and that how we react to "Those Days" is what defines us. Do we turn to the Lord, or away from Him? Do we humble ourselves, or pridefully insist on trying to handle it ourselves? Do we get down on our knees and truly pour out our souls for mercy and help and guidance for ourselves and our loved ones, or do we continue to offer up the kinds of prayers that seem to bounce off the ceiling? Do we despair and want to give up, or do we somehow find hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we can still improve, that we can become better than what we now are, that through that same Atonement, we can be given strength beyond our own to overcome the trials that are thrown at us?
I guess the choice is mine.
Have you ever had one of those days where it's really not a bad day per se, but because of bad news that you hear--even if it doesn't affect you directly, just your friends or family (or both), you just feel....burdened?
That's how my day was. And it wasn't even all that bad till tonight, when Steve got home and told me about these things--some of the stuff, I already knew, but then when I found out about these other things that were going on, it just weighed me down a little bit more.
So here I am, attempting to do a little therapy, get a little bit of it out of my head, and maybe get to the point where my brain will let me sleep. Which is what I really want to do right now, believe it or not.
Sorry I'm being so vague and fuzzy...for one thing, it's late, so I'm not communicating clearly, and for another, most of the stuff that's going on, I can't give details about, but here are just a couple of the things going on:
I just found out that one of my friends and her husband are, in fact, getting a divorce.
Some family members of mine are really struggling financially.
Steve has been having excess stress at work that could possibly be exacerbated quite soon.
Oh, yeah--and last night, I backed our car (our recently paid-off car, I might add) into my aunt's minivan. What am I, a dumb teenager? I couldn't believe it happened--we were at my parent's house, it was dark, they were parked behind me, I was late for a meeting, I thought I checked the rear view mirror...yadda yadda yadda. I have NEVER done something like this before, and I usually could laugh something like this off, but the timing...oh, the timing. Sigh.
Luckily, Steve was right there, so he went in and told my uncle, who came out and looked at the damage (so I didn't even have to be the one to tell the two most intimidating people involved, which was nice). My uncle was great about it, and this morning, my aunt called to make sure I was okay (true story, I bawled all the way to my meeting, and probably would have cried longer had it been an option), and they've been wonderful about the whole thing...not the least bit mad--but REALLY? How the heck could I be so careless? I'm still kicking myself for making such a stupid mistake. Granted, it's not a huge deal--just a little dent in our fender and a dent/scratch across the side of their minivan, but still, on top of everything else...Ugh.
Like I said, it's been one of those days.
But I know that even "Those Days" have a reason, and that how we react to "Those Days" is what defines us. Do we turn to the Lord, or away from Him? Do we humble ourselves, or pridefully insist on trying to handle it ourselves? Do we get down on our knees and truly pour out our souls for mercy and help and guidance for ourselves and our loved ones, or do we continue to offer up the kinds of prayers that seem to bounce off the ceiling? Do we despair and want to give up, or do we somehow find hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we can still improve, that we can become better than what we now are, that through that same Atonement, we can be given strength beyond our own to overcome the trials that are thrown at us?
I guess the choice is mine.
Comments
That last paragraph about how we can respond to things, though - that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Even in this very moment. I haven't been so great at internalizing that lesson the past several months, so thanks for the reminder. :)
We just need to get together and have a good venting/solve all the problems in the world session!